Was it you or I who stumbled first? It does not matter. The one of us who finds the strength to get up first, must help the other. Can’t remember who said this to me several years ago after losing my father probably the only support system I ever had, in whose plate I was centre stage and not a remnant on the rim of voraciously emptied and well licked plate of the Cameroonian delicacy Ekwang,{hate ekwang by the way} But her words to me super glued in my memory.

When things aren’t going well or we’re just not feeling that great we all need support and encouragement. For those who try to tough it alone like moi, it can be a difficult uphill battle. Identifying people in your life who can be reliable sources of support and comfort, you can be reassured that there is someone to turn to when you need help someone who will lift you up and give you whatever you need with a moment’s notice. There are surely going to be times when you learn more about the world you’re entering and feel defeated when you see the gap between your ideal and the reality. The perils of life, but something we’ll all face. People who face those obstacles and overcome them are people whose dreams come true.. Fact

Nothing get’s me going like when some supposedly sage allude to the fact that I don’t understand the meaning of life or appreciate what those out of my non existence social class go through. I don’t necessarily need to understand the meaning of life, I believe it is enough to find someone who does, put my head on their shoulder or fall asleep in their arms and sleep as a child sleeps after a heavy meal and a hot bath, knowing that someone stronger than me is protecting me from falling head first and also from all evil and all danger. A tall order I know.. Not that delusional

A good support system is probably the best definition of what a home is. It is that constant, that place, that person or persons, that safety net, where I am free from attack, where I experience, the joy of listening to Nana Mouskouri’s Quand tu chantes and Soleil Soleil. Where I receive endless nourishment, meaningful and secure relationships. It’s that place where people share and understand each other. Its relationships and nurturing. The people in it do not need to be perfect, {I am extremely far from perfect myself}, instead, they need to be honest, loving, supportive, recognising a common humanity that makes all of us vulnerable. Bear in mind that the support systems will be different for each person. Look at the people in your life who might be a source of support and ask them if they mind being a shoulder to lean on.

Don’t do it my way. After losing my grandma and father, I failed to create a new support system. I failed to find a place for myself on anyone’s plate, instead resolutely lingered at the peripheries.

Single parents and singletons will probably understand this better than most but before we get to the point of great difficulty, or in anticipation of life’s little setbacks, we should implement strategies or have a support system in place to help us through some of those rough spots. No situation is permanent


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